


Reconcilable.

by mysteriousinvalue



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: F/F, POV Sameen Shaw, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-09-22 10:12:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9603434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysteriousinvalue/pseuds/mysteriousinvalue
Summary: In the midst of Samaritan, Shaw struggles to establish whether simulation is the only reality she has. With Root being her only constant and relief, she makes her way back and forth through her confusion of worlds. (Currently written in the 2nd person to get a feel but might go to 1st or 3rd.)





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter I.

You wake to the emptiness to the bed. Sitting up in shock as to whether or not you are still in simulation. But it couldn’t be. You felt it all. Touching her. Kissing her. The raw and primal afflictions. Fuck. How could you forget? Your eyes scanned the room for any sign of her or somebody, ready to be in an offensive position in case Samaritan had found you. Your body is sore and your throat is dry. Slowly you make your way out of bed, getting the 9mm out of the night stand just where you’d left it. You brace yourself and start to clear the bedroom. No sign of Root. You charge towards the living room and find Root sitting in the threshold of the window. She’s staring outside with a solemn look on her face and finally turned towards you with a small smile growing on her face.

“You sure know how to show a girl a good time, Sameen.” She said, eyeing you up and down with a glint in her eye. You roll your eyes and lower your gun and realized you hadn’t put a top on before raiding the house. You hadn’t any shame. Her eyes pierced yours and then she went back to looking outside.

“I’m going to shower,” you say while putting your gun on the table. She tipped her head onto the glass and nodded.

“Will you be here when I get out?” She turns towards you with confusion shown on her face.

“You should know by now that you pointing a gun at me is just foreplay.” She smirked. “You’re going to have to try a little harder to make me leave, Sam.” Your eyes narrow.

“I don’t need a babysitter,” you say flatly. “But— “visions on the previous night flickered through your head. Questions began flooding your mind. How did you get out alive? How long has it been since you’ve seen the team? You don’t want to think about it. “I guess I don’t mind the company.” You turn and grab a towel and underwear and went off to shower. Once you were under the hot streaks of water your body relaxes. You didn’t realize how sore your body actually was. You’d thinned out too. You’d have to build your eating skills back up and get some damn protein. You stand in the steady stream of water and let it melt the soreness from your muscles.

After cleaning up, you return to your quest of finding clothes and retired to the usual black outfit. You find Root laying on the couch, sleeping. You wonder if she slept last night. You wonder how she found where you were. Can she still hear the machine? Why haven’t you seen Reese or Finch? The questions grew exponentially.

You sit down at the foot of the couch with your back against it, keeping your eyes trained on Root. You remember her long before submitting yourself to Samaritan and being subject to countless simulations and experiments, which, even then, she occupied. She’s annoying. Never fearing rejection in her attempt to make sexual advances or right shit puns. Always getting herself into situations without thinking ahead; especially in gunfire. Ever devoted to the entity she calls her God. Is the only woman you know that considers torturing another form of foreplay. A smirk. But only because you’ve never met someone who enjoys pain during intercourse like you do. Because as much as Root could ruin you, you’d throw yourself into her fire without a second thought. 

She livens your spirit. You’d never admit it, but there’s a part of you that thirsts for her even in the intense heat of you anger. Before you know it you’re wrapped up in your thoughts and unconsciously stroking her hair out of her face and behind her good ear. She lost her other ear to Control. But, then again, she wasn’t the only person to lose something. During your time with Samaritan you were sure you’d lost yourself. In fact, you still don’t feel like you’ve grounded yourself enough to be able trust that this is all real. That you can feel Root’s skin under your fingertips or the slow lull of pain from sitting on the floor for too long. It’s been a long time of involuntarily having to feel things that you forgot what made you feel good. You’d felt good last night, that was undeniable. Why can you only stand to feel good with Root? 

Your hands fall from her face and you stand to get up. She grabs your back pant pocket and attempts to pull you towards her with tired muscles. She’s looking up and you with eyes that are telling you to stay and its understood. You don’t talk. Hell, if most of your communication could be sought out through mannerisms and facial expressions, you’d be set. Instead of brushing her off you sit down and lean your back against her hips and she curls around you. Your eyes shut and you feel feather light movements on you hand. You don’t reject. You don’t know how to express your gratitude for her saving you, so this will do. Her fingers don’t stray from your hand and you can feel her outlining your bones. Silence. Your mind takes flight. Flashes of her appearing behind your closed eyelids and you wonder, how could you look at her every time and feel something? It’s fleeting. An emotion, maybe? You wish you could distinguish but you know you weren’t built for that. What is it?

“You know,” she pauses before continuing and you can feel her eyes on you.

“I never stopped looking for you. It was excruciating thinking you’d might have left the earth without me being able to stop it. She never gave me much information except that you were out there alive. And I still think that if I could’ve— “her voice cracks and your eyes open dimly.

“Stop.” The word came out harsher than you meant it. Her body twitches against you and you can feel her holding in tears. You get up and cradle her body in your arms before lifting her and taking her to your bed to lay her down. You feel the warmth of her tears spilling onto your arm. Lifting the covers up you get in behind her and pull the covers over you both. With your arms wrapped around her torso, you ease her discomfort in the beset way you think you can. She cries and lets you hold her This must be the most vulnerable you’ve seen her and it makes you wonder how many times she’s done this. You wonder what it feels like. Its moments like this that you hate you can’t understand emotions. You’re a brick wall. Root’s hurting is different. You’d never thought of the impact of being gone would have done to her.

You’ve thought about her. At least you thought you had. In simulation. She was the only person that you couldn’t separate from. It would be daring to assume that she was as much as her hopes would be. You know the way she feels about you. You could feel it when she touched you. Her small nuances when she talked to you. How she looked at you in and out of gunfire. There was something there and it wasn’t that you couldn’t return it, you just don’t want to identify it. 

She’s fallen asleep again. You dig your head into her hair. You missed her smell. It provides a sense of safety that only your guns have. You breath her in and fall into your own slumber.

There’s a sound. A loud thump that raises you. Samaritan has found your coordinates and they’re in your apartment. Root is nowhere to be found. Your guns are nowhere to be found and you’re left to your own devices. You can hear their light footsteps gaining momentum. Four operatives carefully scanning the layout. Your heartbeat is in your in ears. Hand to hand combat will be your savior till you can gain access to one of their weapons. Slowly your body creeps out of bed and against the wall of your bedroom. One of the flash lights permeates the room and an operative begins to enter. Before they spot you you grab them into a choke hold and onto the floor. 

The disturbance brings about the others and you grab and fire the gun at the unconscious operative. They halt for a minute then proceed. You rain fire from behind the door and the response is well received from the gunfire you can feel coming your way. You’ve been hit in the abdomen. You fall forward and catch yourself. Attempting to keep your resolve to save your own self from death but it’s too late. You’re held at gun point by two operatives and all you can see is one pulling the trigger.


	2. Chapter II.

Chapter II.

You wake abruptly in a sheen a sweat. You can feel Root’s hands clambering to grab a hold of your arms. You shake her off and move to sit at the edge of the bed. Involuntarily your fingers reach up to graze the area behind your ear. That’s right. It’s gone. You feel her hand on your shoulder and question whether to turn around and face your weakness.

“I’m here. Listen. . .” She’s behind you now, holding you from behind. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” Her hand is between your breasts, reaching to rest on your heart. Her head now laying on the crevice of your shoulder and neck. Your breathing stabilizes and you regain yourself. You move slightly and she flinches.

“Let’s just sleep, yeah?” You say. You can feel her nod against your shoulder and you follow her back into bed. She falls asleep soon thereafter but you can’t. Your body still feels alert. So you lie there and listen to the sound of her breathing and close your eyes to think about the good times before Samaritan stole your life away. If there’s anything that you know for sure, its that time has changed a lot of things, including you. 

Your tolerance to torture was put to the test more than when you were training for the ISA. Though you did survive, it was maddening to re-inhabit your body after you’d killed yourself time after time in simulation. It doesn’t feel like you survived. Maybe part of you did, but definitely not all of you. After sacrificing yourself for Root repetitively in simulation you began to realize something inside you that you couldn’t quite explain. You couldn’t kill her. She was safe. She’s the safest part of your world and there’s this feeling of anguish in the pit of your stomach every time you’d find her. She was always there; dug deep in the burrows of your conscious. Your stomach rumbles. 

“Mm.” You look over to Root, she’s still fast asleep. You nudge her shoulder in attempt to wake her.

“Root.” You nudge again. “It’s late. Come on.” She turns over and drapes her arm over your abdomen.

“Just a little more.” She sighs sleepily. 

“I’m hungry.” Her eyes open and her body stiffens to stretch. You roll your eyes and sit up. You get up and move to the kitchen. Lights first, you think. As you make your way over to the cupboards you notice dishes in the sink and a bowl of apples on the counter. Has she been staying here? You open the fridge door to find actual food and beer. A minimal amount but still there. Next is the freezer. Meat. That’s more like it, you think.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to impose. I just needed some source of reprieve while. . . you know.” You close the freezer door and turn to face her. The soft tendrils of her hair grazing her cheeks. 

“You hungry?” You ask, determined to avoid discussing your absence. 

She moved to sit down and nodded. She’s wearing those goddamn slippers, you notice. Bunny ears poking out from behind the counter.

“Yeah, but sit. You shouldn’t be up and roaming. There’s a lot of rest your body needs in order for you to—“ Root explains before you cut her off.

“No. I’ve had enough for today. Where’s Finch and Reese?” You spit out annoyed. 

“They’re at the safe house. They came when you first came home but you had already fallen asleep. In fact, Finch has entrusted me to take care of you while you recover.” Before you can ask, she says, “Bear is with Finch. I let Finch take him just for a couple of days.”

“Mm.” You turn and pull the meat from the freezer. Steak. Its been months since you’ve been able to have any type of meat or decent food for that matter. Root interrupts your thoughts by grabbing your arm a little more forcefully than you’d expect.

“I think that you need to learn how to listen more. You should be bedridden. In fact, you should feel lucky that I’m letting you get out of bed.”

“I’m not a fucking child, Root, and I’m not incapable of doing things myself.” You huff looking up to her.

“I didn’t say that.” Her voice goes soft and her eyes fall to the table. Great. Now you’ve done it. Fuck, Shaw, she’s only trying to help. 

“I’m sorry. I just don’t want to sit here and do nothing. I’ve had enough of that. I just need. . . I need to shoot someone.” Root’s eyes come up to meet yours. She can feel the anger radiating off of you and you know it. You want vengeance. You want to destroy everything in your path. Maybe that’ll make you feel better again. Make you feel like you. 

“You know you can’t, Sameen. Samaritan has nearly every operative looking for you. It’s bad, Sam.” Tears threatening to form in her eyes. “Its best that you stay here. You need more time to gain your strength back before you go off kneecapping people again.” She chuckles. 

“I’ve missed that.” You acknowledge. Root gets up and makes her way over to you.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be sure to take real good care of you,” her lips are against the crook of your neck, “And if you’re good, you might even get an extra work out every now and then.” A static shock runs down your spine. Good ole Root. Never ceases to provide a sexual climate. Before you know it she’s taken the steak from your hands and begun working in the kitchen. 

You grab a beer and sit on the couch and turn on the TV. The Hallmark channel pops up on the screen showing the upcoming romance movies. Unexpected. You look over to Root to find her consumed with the preparations of the food. You didn’t figure her to be the romantic type but you suppose these movies are just as cheesy as her pick-up lines so it equals out. You flip through the channels to find something worth watching.

“So, uhm,” you clear your throat, “how long have you been staying here?” You didn’t want to ask but your curiosity got the best of you. Her hands still for a split second before she responds.

“Not long. Consecutively, at least. Maybe a couple of days out of the week. It’s easier to concentrate here.” Liar. Instead of questioning further, you let it go. You toss the controller to the side, lay down, and close your eyes. You can smell the aroma from the steak Root is seasoning. Again, your stomach protests your hunger. You readjust your position on the couch and relax. Your mind goes back to working with Root. Side by side running through gunfire. Untouchable. Sometimes. Root is always needing a patching up but you don’t mind. Even if she’s being a little baby about it. You remember the first time you saw her dual wield and it sends warmth down your body. You remember her flashy smiles when she would flirt with you. You decide, if you’re going to be out of service for however long it takes, that maybe it isn’t all that bad.


	3. Chapter III.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: The story goes from T rating to M rating from here. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter III.

It’s been a couple weeks now since you’ve been under Root’s watch. Between getting back into shape and your workouts with Root and Reese, some of your strength has inching its way back. Thankfully you’ve been able to boost your protein intake and regain at least 25% of your muscle. Root’s been especially patient but you’ve had your qualms with her. Mostly in frustration of feeling physically weak and dodging the conversation in which your nightmares have produced. In those cases, she’s been extra annoying but she’s made it up in other ways. You never thought you’d lose in a fight with Root, but its finally happened and frankly, it only wanted to make you train harder. Shit, the first time she brought a mat home to practice on and changed into some short shorts and a tank top you were captured by just watching how hot she was that she had you down on the floor faster than you could pull your head out of your ass.

Root made sure to stick that in your face too. Her pride taking form of a big smirk. You didn’t mind losing once in a while once you’d finally got more of your strength back. It made you feel better sometimes since you know you were short with her about simulation and your dreams. She knows you’re not a person of conversation but she damn well knows not to dig into things like that. Plus, you figured, she has the machine to relay all that information to her. Though fighting with Root is not so bad, your quarrels tend to lead elsewhere. Not that that’s a problem. She definitely knows how to give rewards and sometimes, she lets you take the lead.

As for Reese. He hasn’t been taking it easy on you and you appreciate it because a fight with Reese is a chance to get as close to filtering out all your anger without killing someone. Although, you have been itching to get out to use the guns you’ve been cleaning every day. You finish sparring with Reese and go and grab some beers from the fridge.

“You don’t think that that’s combative to your training?” Reese asks playfully.

“I’d say it’s a beer well earned considering I almost had you down—what—four times?” He smirks as you remove the caps and hand one over to him. 

“Fair. You’re getting better. I’d say it won’t be long till you’ll be running numbers, that is, once your clear from Samaritan’s hit list.” You roll your eyes and take a swig.

“You still haven’t taken care of that yet? I hope Finch hasn’t lost sight in you.” Reese chuckles. 

“We’ve missed your positive attitude.” He says as he leans against the couch and pulls off his gloves. A moment goes by.

“How’s Root?” You wait a moment to respond and get another beer.

“I don’t know. She’s out working a number. Figured you guys kept in touch.” You pull some meat out of the fridge put it to the side.

“She cares for you, Shaw.” You roll your eyes for the hundredth time today.

“I’m aware.” Your jaw tightens as you busy yourself with food. 

“She’s worried about you.” He continues.

“Can we not talk about Root?” It sounds like more of a demand than a question. He finishes the rest of his beer and keeps his eyes trained on the bottle.

“You know, when we lost Joss, I’d felt lost. A lot like when I got out of the service when Finch found me. He never asked me to elaborate on my past but he gave me something I hope I can return. Not all people want to talk. Just support.”

“Yeah, well, Finch probably didn’t have to ask considering he has the Machine as a resource.” You fire back, annoyed. Reese remains quiet. You begin making the marinade for the meat while pulling out some potatoes and rice.

“Another beer?” You ask, trying to clear the tension in the air.

“No, thank you. So,” he walks over to the counter, “what are you going to do for the next couple of days?” 

“Besides work out and pig out? Nothing. Root managed to stock up enough meat to feed an army and she hardly eats. Girl is a walking skeleton.” Reese quirks an eyebrow and you turn your head to the side when realize you unintentionally brought her back into the conversation. Dumbass.

“Well,” Reese throws his bottle away, “if you’d like any company. Let me know.” He walks over to the door.

“If you ever want to talk,” He looks over his shoulder before nodding his head and walking out.

“Mhm.” You walk over and close the door behind him. You go back to skinning the potatoes and preparing the rice. You set the utensils on the counter and sigh as you rub your forearm over your forehead. You look over at your phone and contemplate whether or not to see how she’s doing. You internally stop yourself. What the fuck? 

You finish preparing the meal and sit down on the couch and turn on the TV. Nothing interesting on, as usual. You sit back with a mouthful and realize this is your first meal alone in a while. You’d gotten used to eating with Root, if you could call it that since she seemingly gets away with having three bites before pushing her food around on her plate. You couldn’t complain considering there was more for you. Her eating habits have gotten worse since before, you think. It’s no wonder she’s so fucking thin. If it weren’t for your appetite of a lion she probably would have an apple a day. You finish your plate and look over to your phone again. You don’t know why but it bugs you. What would the damn girl do if she got shot? 

You make your way over to the phone and call her.

“Hello?” You answer, not knowing exactly what to say.

“Hey, sweetheart. You miss me already?” You can hear the smile in her voice.

“No.” You say bluntly.

“You’re so cute. Checking up on me, huh?” 

“Ugh, no. Just wanted to make sure that you haven’t fallen into any gunfire as you typically do.” You grab a beer and pop it open.

“I knew it.” She giggles. “You should be proud to know that I’ve successfully managed to avoid gunfire. And, so you know, I also managed to pick up a little of your doctor skills.”

“Ah, you learned how to put a band aid on now?” You tease.

“No,” she pouts. “I’m no doctor like you, Sameen. But I’ve learned to do the minimal patching up.” She says excitedly.

“Is John gone? I’m jealous he gets to see you all hot and angry.” You shake your head. Typical Root. 

“Yeah.” You sit back down on the couch and chug your beer. “I almost had him today. I think I’m getting better.” The line stays quiet. Your fingers tap a rhythm on your quads.

“Did you eat today?” You ask and regret it instantly.

“Is that why you called? So you really were worried? Oh, Sam. I miss you too.”

“Alright, alright. I’m going now. Just stay safe or whatever. And fucking eat something, will you?” 

“Will do, doctor.” You hang up and put the phone onto the other side of the couch. Fucking Christ.

You lay on the couch and put your forearm over your eyes. Why did I call? Fucking Reese, you think. You weren’t worried. Root can take care of herself. You sigh. Your mind drifts off to last night. Root on her back moaning gloriously while you keep your attentions to making her body sing. That was probably the loudest you think you’ve ever heard her. She’s not one to hold back, she just lets it happen. She’s so in control of her sexual power that it fucking blinds you sometimes. She knows you like it when she’s in charge. You tell her that you let her because it’s mostly true but there’s something different in Root’s touch. Not that she’s learned your body, but how she does it. You can feel what she feels for you when she’s lightly grazing your skin with her fingers or when she’s fucking you through the bed. 

Suddenly you feel a soreness form between your legs. It hasn’t even been a day. Whatever, you think. You’ve gotten used to having someone else touch you. Root being that someone, of course. Who’d have thought that Root would be the one person you’d be anything with. Hell, having one person for an extended period of time is enough of a shock for you but you try not to think about it that way. There’s a lot of things about this thing you have with Root that you tend to avoid. She’s managed to infiltrate your mind and body and there’s nothing that you’ve done to stop it besides ignoring her and the habitual eye rolling. Her presence has dug roots in not only your real life but also the dreams and night terrors that are becoming seldom as days pass and even through your time in simulation. You don’t know what she is to you. Root doesn’t ask for anything. She enjoys your company and wants to be near you all the time. You saw it just before she left to start tracing her number. You both were lying in bed, her on the left side and yours being the right. You don’t know how that happened either. You suppose the routine settled in when you came back. Root was by your side every night. You told her a couple of times to go but she wouldn’t budge and you eventually gave up. You’d wake up the next morning or midway through the night from a night terror and there she’d be consoling you and bringing you back to bed. That really got on your nerves, at first. You hated her seeing you like that and more than that, asking you questions about it. Since you haven’t clued her into simulation completely or your night terrors, it would make you angry. Thankfully she learned to stop asking questions after the first couple of times. She’s stubborn and you hate it but you are too. Without her stubbornness, you wouldn’t have recovered as easily or trained harder and worked harder to get through the nights. You hated that she saw you through it but at the same time you wouldn’t have wanted it to be anybody else. You don’t know how you’re feeling exactly. You’re used to having Root here. Your hand slips underneath your pants and underwear to meet liquid heat. You recall a memory of Root. It’s one of the first times that she got you down when you were both sparring. You’re laying against the mat and she’s got your arms pinned above your head breathing heavily. 

-Flashback-

“I’d call that number three.” Root blows the hair out of her face. “The ratio is getting a little high on my end, Sam. You don’t have to take it easy on me. You know I don’t mind it if you play rough.” She smirks ear to ear.

“Ugh. Shut up. You may be able to beat me right now but once I’m strong enough I’m going to give you a real ass beating.” Her eyes light up in surprise.

“Is that a threat?” Her lips are millimeters from your ear. “If it is, I can’t wait.” She bites your ear and you can feel it ready you for what’s to come. You go to move your arms and she slams you back down and devours your lips with hers. Fuck, she’s so hot when she’s like this. You can feel her back arch and her knee goes to spread your legs. You accept defeat and spread your legs for her and let her thigh press its length against your core. Your head is swimming.

“I’m going to let your hands go, are you going to behave?” You roll your eyes and shake your head. She lets go and starts wreaking havoc on your body. Her hands pull your shirt up and takes your right nipple and squeezes hard. You inhale sharply before her mouth is running from your ear to your neck and down to your left nipple. You can feel her tongue circling your nipple and her warm breath cooling the surface of your skin. She’s driving you crazy. You lift your hips into her leg looking for some friction and she giggles.

“Always the antsy one. What do you want, Sameen?” Her fingers retract from your nipple and circle around it while she puts a hand on your hip to shove you down.  
“You know what I want. Stop fucking teasing.” You can feel your irritation rising from the lack of contact.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you—“ 

“Just fuck me.” You demand.

“Please?” She says questioningly with a smirk. You give her the look of death and she resumes her destruction. You can feel all the blood running to your core just before her hand reaches down to stroke you over your clothing. You groan and her hand applies more pressure. She wraps her mouth around your nipple and pushes you into a frenzy. You want to touch her to see how wet she is but you refrain. You know you’ll be able to later. Root’s hand dives below your shorts and her fingers outline your clit like she has it mapped out. Your hips move into her hand of their own accord and you can’t help to emit the moans that follow.

“You’re so hot when you’re loud, Sam.” She says. Her hand continues its reign over your clit and she pushes you farther. You want her inside of you. You want her to bite and scratch and leave as many marks as she can. You want her to tear you apart. You feel your orgasm building and your hands reach up her shirt to the sides of her abdomen. You dig your fingers into her skin and thrust into her hand. She inhales sharply then smiles. Her fingers target your clit and add pressure.

“Fuck,” it comes out breathy. Root’s teeth meet your stomach and begin biting and nipping all the way up to your neck. 

“Come for me, Sameen.”

-End of flashback-

That’s enough for you to finish yourself off. Tremors run through your body and your hand stills. Exhaustion takes over your body and you turn into the couch and wait for your heartbeat to slow. Something is missing. You curl up and dig yourself into the couch. You know what it is.

It’s her. 

She’s missing.


	4. Chapter IV.

Chapter IV

You wake to someone’s weight slumping up against the small of your back. You nudge back to see if you’d get a response. Nothing. You turn over to find Bear. Of course. Little shithead knows he’s not supposed to get on the bed but it isn’t the first time he’s appeared on the bed when you wake up. He’s been getting on the bed for the last two weeks. Root’s been gone now for almost three and a half weeks. You’d lost contact with her for a couple of days but alas she popped up with the usual sarcastic, annoying comments. You can tell Bear searches for her when Reese comes around. Once there’s a knock at the door, it’s as if he is expecting her. So, you’ve been sure to treat him extra for the loss.  
You turn back over, too tired to shoo him off the bed. Time is of essence and Samaritan keeps gaining momentum. Most times it seems like it’s useless to continue training if the Machine cannot create a new identity for you to evade Samaritan’s all seeing eye. Reese, however, insists different. He reminds you that all is worth fighting for, if it not be for ourselves then those considered relevant and irrelevant. 

Your nightmares have become fewer. When you’re not dreaming of a getting a bullet between your eyes you dream of running numbers or time with Root. You miss fighting and shooting people. Hell, you miss firing new weapons. It’s been a while since you’ve had something new in your hands. When Reese comes over for training, sometimes all you talk is guns. He may be LAPD’s hottest homicide detective but he still has a knack for finding some ace hardware. Only bad thing is he doesn’t typically like to share. Granted there’s nothing you could do with artillery currently, but it would be nice to have something to look forward to once you can get an alternate identity. 

Harold has already informed you that such requests must be taken up with Root and that due to recent circumstances, it is best to reestablish health and strength so as not to get swept up in the same predicament or worse. But it’s been a while. Too long, actually. You’re bored. You’ve settled into a routine and switching it up is hard considering the lack of activities. It’s been nice having Bear around. You’ve always had a soft spot for him and he’s beginning to see a place here himself. Or it could be that you give him more treats than Harold. What can you say, you’re both alike when it comes to steak. 

Even so, you miss your early runs and generally being able to be out and about. The best part about the isolation is the power to be alone. Its nice most of the time. When Root first left, it was difficult to be alone. Root sucked up all of your bad moods and still tried to treat you while you were feeling inadequate. And, cleverly enough, she managed to still piss you off while she was away. Surprising. Amongst the time you’ve spent back, you’ve found a plethora of items unknown to you that you could guess only Root would leave. An extra toothbrush, shampoo, clothes, etc. When approached with the evidence, Root simply says in order to take care of you, she had to have her stuff there. All the while, you can hear her smile through the phone. You don’t spend much time on the phone with Root considering her need to make implications of your interest in her wellbeing. You’re just being cautious; something you’ve found Root never has been. Sometimes you wonder how much time she spent here while you were gone. You haven’t asked, but there’s a feeling inside of you that she’s made it home. As much as it bothers you to think about it, you try not to think about it. You’ve never had someone domestic in your life. Someone who leaves you a butt load of steak before they leave for weeks. Someone who is stubborn enough to make you sit down so they can tend to your wounds. Root’s always   
employed dependency for you. You fucking hate it. However, there are some cases where it pans out for the best. 

Your eyes glance over to your alarm clock. 0500 hours. Almost time to get up. Strange that even though you’re tired of doing the same shit every day that you still wake up how you used to. You’re sleeping schedule cannot be altered. You look at the clock again. 0528. Finally, you move to get out of bed by swinging your legs over the bed. If Reese isn’t busy he should be here by 0700 hours. You get Bear off the bed, grab some clothes, fill Bear’s dry food bowl, and head to the restroom. You undress and turn the water on and your eyes meet your reflection. And for the first time since you’ve been back you look at your body and muscle progress. It feels like you’re back. There’s a stark difference in your muscle composition from when you came in to where you are now and it gives you a sense of pride. Being strong is something you thought was imperative. Not to mention, is required in this line of work. Given these few weeks away from Root, your independence has come back full fledged. You assume it’s because Root isn’t here to threaten you that she will reprimand or restrain you. 

You get in the shower and finish the rest of your morning chores early. Now comes the waiting. You sit on the couch and look over to Bear who’s laying on his bed.  
“It’s just you and me again, buddy.” Bear lifts his head and turns his head slightly to the side in acknowledgement. You grab Bear’s ball when you hear a key opening the lock on your front door. You grab your newly cleaned 9 mm off the table and catch Reese slipping in with a smirk on his face.

“I’m glad to see you’re ready for action. You’re going to need it. This safe house has been compromised. Here.” John hands you a map and goes to your closet to pack the whole armory of guns you’ve collected. You open the map and find its of New York with self-made marks scattered across it.

“Finally, some action. What’s this?” You walk over to Reese putting your gun against your lower back and slipping it into your pants.

“It’s a shadow map.” You pull a duffel bag off of the shelf in the closet and start packing clothes and your knife and remaining guns that are hidden. “That map will keep us out of view from the cameras so we can get back to the subway before Samaritan spots you.” 

“How long do we have?” You ask, moving to the restroom to grab all the personal items you need. You grab Bear’s leash and attach it to him. 

“Not long. You ready to move?” Reese meets you in the living room handing you an AR-15. A smile creeps up on your face. You’ve never been more ready. You nod and grab Root’s leather jacket off the dinner table chair. She will thank you later. You all make your way out and down the hall. 

“Status, Finch?” John asks. 

“Not much longer until Samaritan will get there. I’ve sent detective Fusco to pick you up. You’re going to take the southeast end of the building. There’s an emergency exit that should lead you downstairs and out the rear. Remember, Mr. Reese, Ms. Shaw must remain invisible. Take extreme precaution and use the shadow map. Root is also on her way for emergency reinforcements.” Reese turns around and guides you to the stairway. You make it three quarters of the way downstairs when Reese stops and holds his hand up.

“Mr. Reese, operatives are arriving at the front end of the complex. You need to move more quickly to avoid collision with Samaritan operatives.”

“We need to hurry.” John says before nearly running down the stairs. You both exit the building and run down the alleyway.

“Instructions, Finch.” Reese tosses you a ski mask and you both slip them on.

“You’re going to make a left and make your way down the street—“ You reach the end on the alleyway and before you make a left, you see a Samaritan SUV stop in front of you with the passenger side window rolled down. Root.

“Get in.” You put Bear in the back with Reese and move to take shotgun and Root takes off.

“We’ve got it from here, Finch. Go ahead and let Fusco know to turn back to the subway.”

“Do I want to ask how you got this car?” You ask. Root just smiles. You eye Root from your peripheral vision and see she’s the most focused you’ve possibly ever seen her. You also notice then you forgot to take off the ski mask. You remove the ski mask in a fluid motion and Root turns to look at you. It was brief but her expression reminded you of the first time you kissed her in the elevator. Her mouth slightly ajar, eyes glazed, and her adoration burning a hole through you. You want to say you hate it but at the same time, those little moments where she shows everything she wants to say just by absent mindedly letting her guard down, makes you wish she did it more often rather than trying to talk about what you two are doing. Living together. Most nights sleeping in the same bed. Eating dinner together. Simple things that you wish she wouldn’t put such emphasis on. Regardless of the fact, you’re still inevitably drawn to her. Something about her is magnetizing. A while goes by of being tossed and turned in the car by Root’s anything but gentle driving. You wonder why she hasn’t cracked a single wise joke.

“So—“ Reese breaks the silence. “I thought you weren’t due for another week Root. Good to see you back.” Root looks in the rear-view mirror at Reese while weaving in and out of traffic.

“Thankfully, I’ve been around for a couple of days gathering intel and parts for the machine. I knew Sameen’s place wasn’t going to be safe for long so I made sure to break a couple of more fingers than usual to get what I needed faster. Plus, I couldn’t keep away for too long.” Root smirks and checks you out as you roll your eyes. She’s been around but hasn’t come over to spend the night. Why hadn’t she come home? Come over, you mean. You always knew Root never really had a place to call home. Due to her mission of being the Machine’s little shape shifter, she had to be on her toes for whatever she was relayed. As helpful as the Machine is, it’s infuriating at times. Root doesn’t take the Machine’s words as something to go by, but more as commands or orders. She takes immediate action and isn’t afraid of losing a battle if it’s for the Machine’s well-being. It kind of reminds you of working with Cole. Even though you didn’t know that you were stopping bad people from trying to understand “Research,” you silenced them without question. Cole changed that for you. His death made you question a plethora of things. You hadn’t ever cared before that but now you know that sometimes it is good to know why. You wonder when Root is going to ask why or if the information that the Machine gives her is correct.

“How are you, Sam?” Root asks.

“A little disappointed. I thought I’d be shooting something by now. You know, using what I’ve spent weeks training to do.” 

“Sorry, sweetie. You’re going to have to hold off a little longer. You still need to get used to the shadow map and all the changes that come with Samaritan. A lot has changed.” The car comes to a stop.

“But, for now, you need to stay safe and out of vision.” Reese gets out with Bear.

“Sorry for the improper greeting.” Root’s hand goes up to stroke your cheek. “I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Your hand goes up and grabs her wrist. You don’t know what to say. Mostly because a promise like that is hard to say no to. You’ve missed her body. God. You can feel the tension but it’s the wrong time.

“Just hurry up. And stay out of trouble.” You let go of her wrist and get out of the car to follow John. You can feel her eyes following you like a target. It isn’t till you’re out of view that you hear her drive off. You follow John to the subway and encounter a candy machine.

“What am I missing here?” You ask as Reese puts the code in and the door to the candy machine opens. He steps through and you can’t believe the safe house has a door this elaborately hidden. Reese takes off Bear’s leash and Bear runs to Harold. You stop and check out the subway. They must’ve done quite a bit to be able to get lighting here. You walk to the subway car and find Harold’s usual monitors and the brain behind it. It’s astounding that the Machine has somehow survived Samaritan’s birth and the Correction.

“Ms. Shaw. It’s a pleasure to see you. I hope all has been well. I’m sorry we couldn’t warn you sooner about your relocation. Things have been. . .” Harold looks over to Reese. “Difficult.”

“No worries. I was hoping that I’d be able to shoot something but, hey, getting here safe is alright, I guess. So how did you guys find this place? And how did you manage to drag the Machine here?” Reese moves to exit the car and turns back.

“I’m going to follow up on a lead with Fusco.” He leaves.

“Be careful. Mr. Reese!” Harold calls out. He turns back to you and offers you a chair. You take a seat. You ask every question you can to understand what has happened since you’ve been gone. Finch explains everything. The big battle of trying to stop a gang war while trying to find you at the same time. Martine’s death. The city of Maple. Samaritan’s recruitment program through the nautilus challenges. How the Machine got to where it was and how they managed to load the Machine into a suitcase and get it to the subway. Elias. The times they went looking for you and came up empty handed.

“So, Root snapped Martine’s neck?” You’re both surprised and not surprised. You’re sure the Machine had advised otherwise. You wonder why Root never told you that. 

“Yes. Ms. Groves didn’t take Martine’s actions lightly. She was determined to find and avenge you in any way possible. Her determination led to unexpected propositions. Had it not been for you calling, I, myself, would have still believed that you were dead. But, she wouldn’t believe it.” 

“Honestly, I wish I could’ve been there to see that.” You grin involuntarily. If only you could have been the one to kill her. You hear Bear get up and head towards the entrance and out comes Root with a bag of takeout one hand and her other hidden behind her back. Bear goes straight to the food and sits. She then gives him a big bone and he goes back to his bed.

“What would you have liked to see, sweetie?” Root smiles in your direction with a quirked eyebrow. “Oh, I made a stop for us. Since it’s still a little early, I thought we could have breakfast together.” She hands the bag to you and you open the boxes to find waffles and pancakes. 

“You snapping Martine’s neck.” You pull the cutlery and syrup out and dig in. Root looks at Harold then away.

“Well, there were extenuating circumstances.” You roll your eyes without ceasing your harvest.

“I can appreciate a good kill. Not to mention, you did it in front of Greer. Plus, if you hadn’t of done it, I would’ve killed her anyway.” You say with your mouth open. Root raises her eyebrows and reaches for a box of food.

“Aside from that, I think it’s time we start pushing Sameen out into the field. We need more bodies if we are going to win this war. Sameen has been training nonstop and has recuperated from her injuries completely. She is always going to be on Samaritan’s list as are we; she will just have to be more careful and stay with John and I.” 

“While it is true that Ms. Shaw will always be a target, we shouldn’t be bringing more people into this than there already is.” Harold is stern. You keep eating and watching to see where this is going.

“When I found Shaw, she was hunting down Samaritan operatives by herself. She purposefully didn’t try to find us so our cover identities would remain solid. She can’t hide forever, Harold.”

“Is that what the Machine said?” He inquires.

“No, She hasn’t said anything.” She looks over to a faraday cage in the subway. “She’s losing, Harry.” She points at the cage. Harold crinkles his nose at the disappointing information.

“In order to help Her, we need to take more risks.” Harold pauses and looks over to you and you shrug your shoulders, mouth still full of food.

“You know how I feel, Finch. I should’ve been fighting since I got back. It’s a waste for me to be in hiding when all Samaritan is going to do is find me.” You manage to get out between bites. “Overall, I’m restless. But I don’t need to tell you that. We’ve talked about this before.”

“Fine. You can start helping us with numbers, but you can’t be alone until you’ve mastered the shadow map. You’ll also be staying here in the subway; Root can get you situated. Remember, the Machine cannot give you an alternate identity so it’s of utmost importance that you stay in the subway when you aren’t working with numbers. I’m afraid that’s all we can do.” Harold gets up from his seat and grabs his hat, some books, and a laptop. 

“I’ve got to go teach a class. Mr. Reese is also at his day job with detective Fusco. If there are any problems, you know how to reach us. I’ll inform Mr. Reese of our recent development.” Harold turns back and looks at you. “And, welcome back, officially, Ms. Shaw.” He smiles before leaving. You sigh before throwing the box away. You sit bat down and purse your lips into a sarcastic smile.

“So. What do you do around here for fun?” You watch Root as she walks over to the faraday cage. Her right hand reaches for one of the bars and she leans in close to look in. Harold already told you that the faraday cage is off limits. Kind of makes you want to cut through the cage just to see the wins and losses. You walk over to Root and stop a few feet behind her. You take in her lithe form. She may be tall but she seems so tiny. So fragile. Soft waved tendrils perfectly draped around her face. You love her fucking hair.   
“Root?” You raise your hand to rest on the middle of her back.

“Mm?” She responds and twists into your hand. A smile forms on her lips and she leans further into your hand and you withdraw it faster than necessary.

“Did you miss me, sweetie?” Her smile grows to a smirk. Ugh. She gets closer and grabs you by the lapel.

“You know what?” Her lips are at your ear. “Why don’t you just show me?” You grab her shirt and pull her so she falters. 

“Nice try.” You flash a fake smile. “I have a couple of questions first.”

“Always gotta keep me in suspense.” She steps back and pushes her hair behind her ear.

“First, why have you inadvertently been putting yourself into danger? This isn’t a time to be more reckless than you already are. Samaritan operatives aren’t like the small numbers we get. These are trained assassins—“ Root’s hand goes up to cup your face and your turn your head.

“Remember when you gave me that whole speech about how people care? Maybe you should take your own words into consideration. None of us need to lose you to Samaritan.”

“I wasn’t going to give up on you, Sam—“ 

“Damnit, Root. No. I don’t want you to have to go through the same thing, if not worse. My getting out was by chance. Luck.” Your mind flashes back to various simulations and part of the time from when you finally got back. Regaining a normal life without thinking that you were just in another simulation still is difficult. Waking up from dreams where you’ve killed the closest people to you was unnerving. Like it was a never-ending circle that you would forever cycle through. 

“Just be more careful.” You exhale and look up to Root staring at you with her mouth open, stupefied.

“Doctor’s orders?” There she goes again. Witty as always. You can’t even roll your eyes any more so you just shake your head.

“Sure. Speaking of which.” You pat down her shoulders to her abdomen and check for any wounds. Clear. You raise your eyebrows in surprise. 

“Don’t be rude. I told you I learned how to treat myself. When it came down to it, that is. Now is that it?” You look away from Root. “You said you’ve been in town for a couple of days,” your hand goes to the back of your neck and you see Root’s sly smile beginning to form. You straighten up.

“The Machine better not have had you on the streets.” Your chest tightens from the way she’s looking at you. Your senses heighten. She’s about the only person that’s ever done that. On the first few occasions, it took you aback. You’d gotten used to it for a short while until she left. Alas, Root is back and it’s almost you’ve lost your defense against her. But you wouldn’t dare make her aware of that otherwise a lot of unnecessary teasing will ensue. 

“You should know by now that the Machine doesn’t have me on the streets. She almost always provides me a place for reprieve.” 

“Sameen, you know I wouldn’t pass up a chance to be in bed with you.” She’s so fucking proud of herself.

“Ugh. Don’t you ever give up?” Of course she never did. You’ve never known a side of Root that gives up on something she’s passionate about. No one can quiet her persistence. In some ways its attractive but in others, you find yourself wanting to chain her to somewhere safe and do what needs to be done. Root seems to take more action in that respect. She does have a knack for drugging you and restraining you to chairs. 

“I couldn’t if I tried. Now,” She closes the gap between you both and leans in mere inches from your face. “I believe you were about to show me something.” There goes your stomach again. You try to remove yourself from Root’s advances but you did miss her lips and body. It’s been weeks and the epicenter of your confined world was her. Your eyes dip down to her lips and back up to her careful gaze. Fucking Christ. Its tantalizing. It feels like you can’t breathe. You cave and grab her by the back of the neck and take her lips in a searing kiss. It’s wild and unconquerable. 

Without much time, Root has you pinned against the faraday cage shattering the guard you built to avoid just this. But it doesn’t matter now. All you want to do is destroy her and relearn the feel of every contour of her body. Her hands are clamoring to keep yours held up and then you feel something familiar around your wrists. A zip tie. For the sake of what’s to come, you feign struggle. She tightens the zip tie and you wince a little. 

“Looks like we’ll have to build your tolerance back up. Don’t worry, I’ll make it fast.” She grins and leaves a trail of bite marks down your neck. Her hands rise underneath your shirt while she devours you. Her hands make their way to your breasts and palm you briefly before moving to touch the rest of your skin. Her hands lay still at your sides and she pulls away to look at you. Her fingers trace lines against your ribcage and her eyes are soft. The ache between your legs grows into a modulation of pulses and you can hear your heart beat in your ears. Your body is tense and while she doesn’t stop the ministrations on your ribs; she keeps scanning your body. You open your mouth to protest but she moves in and takes your lips while her fingernails dig into your ribs and drag down to your flexors. It burns and you know she’s broken skin but you can’t help to let out a moan. She breaks the kiss and attacks your neck again. Her hands creating a series of inflamed lines on your back. 

“I’ve missed you.” She whispered so low it was almost inaudible. Your breath hitches. You didn’t need to hear it. You knew. She’s never been afraid to tell you. She just does and says what she needs even if you don’t want to hear or see it. Your response was in the pit of your stomach. Root knows you can’t say it back; that it wouldn’t be you. So, you don’t say anything. Instead you do exactly what she said because even though you don’t understand human emotion, you can still show her what it’s been like being away from her body. 

You didn’t know what it meant. But you know you did. And even though you didn’t understand it, you wanted to say it.

I’ve missed you too.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter V.  
I'm sorry about how long it's taken to write this upcoming chapter. It is my first time writing smut so its taken me a long time to come to terms with how this would read. I hope you enjoy. And, once again, I'm sorry for the wait. By the way, this chapter is basically pure smut. Be aware. If it isn't your thing, stay tuned til next chapter.

 

You’ve been curious. More curious than you usually are. Sameen is acting a lot more domestic than you know she felt comfortable with, but you wouldn’t dare complain. It’s not much, but you know the difference by now. She’s resigned to considering your company as work related and moved closer to having a normal relationship. One that’s not analyzed by consistent domestic activity, but merely by the fact that she’s not acting against your relentless advances. Maybe she’s gotten used to your banter, you think. Yet, still, you wake up to go looking for her, to make sure that she is in fact there. There have been too many times that you wake in worry of whether she’s gone to fight Samaritan on her own. Your subconscious has a funny way of waking you early to find her lying exactly where she had set up her cot. You remember the day you first saw Sameen again and your body chills you to the bone. It felt like a dream, really. All those times you had asked the Machine for a location and nothing. No trace. No lead. All you had was Harold’s perspective of the situation and it didn’t sit right with you. You knew she was more than that. Shaw had never given up fighting for “Research,” the Machine, and your allies. She’s always showed genuine interest in your whereabouts. You kept that close. Sometimes there wasn’t a way for you to figure out whether or not she was going to give you the light of day. She’s shied away from you since you’d retrieved her from the safe house. And it’s terrible because you feel like bursting. Ever since the Machine has given her an alternate identity, you’ve been thinking about her more. More so since she’s usually out when you’re in the safe house. You worry. Excessively. You’ve written it into your own code, “Shaw does her own protecting.” But that doesn’t seem to always work with you. You can’t accept that she’s out there fighting without you by her side. You’ve asked her multiple times if you could join her in her quest for specific numbers, those specific to Samaritan origin, yet she declines. In the grand spectrum of things, Shaw is becoming more of herself. 

Although you are happy with the fact that Shaw is back with a vengeance, you do miss being able to have an excuse to be around and take care of her all the time. When Shaw first came back you spent nearly all your time with her; you miss being that close to her. Now that Shaw is determined to defeat Samaritan, she spends most of her time away on missions. You do hear her sometimes when she comes in late at night. On a handful of occasions, she’s passed by your room on her way to her cot and just stood there while you pretend to be asleep. She hasn’t come all the way in to check if you’re awake, just stood there. Part of you wants to ask why but at the same time, you’re more anxious to see what she would do or what she’s thinking about. You don’t mind waiting. 

 

You’ve found Shaw is still stricken with night terrors. You’ve only woken up twice to calm her down but it’s the usual, “let’s go back to bed.” Shaw hasn’t completely told you everything about what Samaritan did to her and you’re sure that she hasn’t confided in anyone else. You know it makes her feel weak when you find her after a night terror so you’ve learned to calm her down and go back to sleep. No questions asked. Lately she’s been getting more distant from everybody so, of course, you’ve taken it upon yourself and followed her a couple of times and got caught almost every time. When you see her on the field she’s on fire, singeing and setting fire to all around her. It’s almost as if her anger is showing its physical side in a more destructive way. It’s hot watching her obliterate everything in her path. When she finally does catch you and you both make eye contact, her expression softens for just a moment and then she’s off chasing someone or something else. Recently you’ve been making extra effort to be around her, well, for as long as you can, that is. When you can’t sleep at night or stay up writing code, your mind wanders to Shaw. Temptation has seeped through your pores and settled in your nerves. Instead of fighting it—as you generally do for the sake of Shaw’s annoyance—you let it govern you. Lately, the hunger to be close to Shaw has been pushed over the brim and effectively made you persistent in showing Shaw that you are there. On the days where it is overwhelming, you find yourself sneaking into Shaw’s cot even if she’s not there. The nights she is there, you wake to find the space adjacent to you empty but you try to not let it bother you. Shaw does know how much you care for her and what things like sleeping aside her means to you so she doesn’t counter. If anything, you think she’s gotten used to it. 

Another night of restlessness. Involuntarily, your body responds to your impulsiveness. You cautiously make your way into Shaw’s bed, moving dangerously slow to prevent waking her. Shaw twitches and your body tenses with your breath stuck in your throat. No movement follows; she’s asleep. You lay beside her curled up in a ball. You still haven’t gotten the nerve to lay facing toward her. Too risky. The warmth of her body permeates the space between you both and sinks into your cold bones. You miss her body. It’s odd. Less and less words were exchanged and a physical conversation was taking over. Shaw has been getting bold and catching you off guard to drag you away. Suddenly, words aren’t necessary. One minute you’re being swept off your feet and rushed to a place of her choosing and stripped. Leaving you destitute. And when she is done pulling every orgasm out of you that she can, she studies your face. The fire you see in her when she’s on her missions diminishes to mere embers. She hasn’t let you lay a hand on her and you’ve respected her space but don’t like the fact that she rejects reciprocated touching. You usually do the dominating, and as much as you enjoy this new side of her, you’re craving to touch her skin and bring her to ruin. 

Your fingers hover over Sameen’s shoulder before meeting her skin to outline her bones. You’ve memorized the contours of her body by now but still cannot keep your hands from wandering. You lean in closer to her and press your lips to her skin. She’s killing you. You continue your caresses then begin writing on her skin by grazing your fingers over into letters and words. You wonder if the letters addressed to her will ever find form for her to see. Probably not, but it doesn’t stop you from writing another one on her skin. Your body eases and finds comfort in the feel of her skin. 

“So, it’s not enough that you follow me around,” Shaw turns her head, “now you’ve got to molest me in my sleep?” Your body becomes rigid and you draw your hand back. You’re not quite sure what to say.

“Sorry. I . . .” Defeat overcomes you and you dig your head in the area between her shoulders. You can feel her back arch against you. Shaw rolls over to meet your averted gaze. It’s too difficult to face her because you know you’ve fucked up by invading her privacy.

“I just miss having a sleeping partner.” Not entirely a lie, but not the truth. Shaw’s face remains unchanged. She’s probably seen through your bullshit. You sigh.  
“And I’ve missed doing things with you. That’s not sex. The sex is great, but you’re so tied up in your mini rampage that you’ve kind of—“ Your hands are fidgeting with your blouse.

"You feel far away.” You finish and can still see through your peripherals that her expression is the same. You don’t even know why you started talking; you should have pretended that you were sleeping. She doesn’t push you away, though. 

“You know, the first time I realized there was something different about you was when we first met. You played the victim card and nearly had me made. The whole iron to the neck thing. Yeah, kinda hard to forget something like that.” She moves closer to you.

“From then on I kept my eye on you. Mostly because I wanted to shoot you. And I did.” She purses her lips into a smirk. 

“All those times we worked side by side together, when I had to address your wounds, your incessant flirting, and the choice I made to get you guys to safety. It didn’t hit me until I was with Samaritan. I underwent long hours and god knows how many days of torture led by Martine and Greer until they found that the way to break me wasn’t going to be physical. So, I was held up while my wounds were healing and they began these simulations. Nearly 7,000 of them. In them I would escape and find a way to get ahold of you guys and then we would go and tear down Samaritan, starting with the head. Samaritan was waiting for me to give the location of the Machine and throughout I’d get closer to killing each person on the team. But there was always you. Much like now. Tailing me and trying to fight for me. Even then, after I’d shot Reese and our only lead to shutting down Samaritan, you stayed by me. At the end, I had the gun pointed at you, ready to kill you too.” Shaw pauses and looks down for a second, almost ashamed.

“But I couldn’t, so I shot myself. Every time, every simulation, I found you. I can’t say I looked for you specifically but my mind automatically chose you. It chose you and I’m still trying to understand what that means.” You feel your heart stop and butterflies rise in your stomach. You’re glad it’s too dark for Shaw to see you blushing. A sudden feeling of bewilderment takes its place and you realize that this is the first time she’s bearing her story to you. It fuels the fire you have to decimate Samaritan and simultaneously makes your heart melt into a puddle. 

“That’s what you’re worried about?” You sigh. As much as you want to make a witty joke about Shaw’s thinking about you, you diffuse it due to the content of the conversation.

“It could have been anything, Sameen. We had gotten used to fighting side by side and saving each other’s lives. Perhaps your mind used those instances to assume I’d be there in the likelihood you needed help.” Shaw’s eyebrows twitched from your suggestion and her head turns to the side.

“Yeah, but it’s different. There’s something—“ She gestures between the two of you and stops.

“Nevermind.” She corrects.

“Wait,” Your hands go to make contact with her body and then pull away as if they don’t know what they’re doing.

“I felt that way too. It got worse when you were gone. And inevitably worse when I had to hide from you all.” You stop to regain yourself because your voice is cracking.

“I never stopped looking for you.” You choke on the last word. You remember the painful days of feeling like you were so close to finding her and it would lead to dead ends. You remember the helplessness. You can feel yourself curling into a tighter ball. 

“It killed me knowing you were out there and I couldn’t find you. You didn’t exactly leave me anything to go by.” You recall. Your hand travels down to her waistband without touching her abdomen.

“You had kissed me,” Your hand dips below her waistband to meet her core and you cup it automatically. Your mouth opens to let out a moan but nothing comes out. You close your eyes to revel in the moment.

“And then they took you away from me. I didn’t realize how much you meant to me until you weren’t there” Your fingers move of their own accord and submerge themselves between her folds. Shaw’s hand goes to reach for your wrist but you catch it and hold it above her head. You can feel her rising petulance without even looking at her but your mind remains fixed on the feeling of smooth velvet under your fingertips before circling her entrance.

“When you came back, I could see it in your eyes. It wasn’t just me anymore.” You make eye contact with her and can hear the grinding in her teeth. 

“I know, Sam. So, you don’t have to tell me,” You enter her with one finger and hear her gasp and her body jolts forward. “This already gave you away.” A moan seeps out through her teeth and you slam back into her. Shaw’s hips buck into your hand and her lips meet yours. A burning permeates your abdomen and suddenly you can’t hold back the petty revenge you want for her not letting you touch her for so long. After all, what was she thinking? That boldness dies tonight.

Menacingly you withdraw from her and push her back down into the cot. Shaw doesn’t wait. She grabs you by the shirt and pulls you hard enough that you fall on top of her while she brings her other hand to your neck and pulls you into a heated kiss. You ground yourself and raise yourself up to straddle her hips. You grab Shaw’s hands and place them at either side of your hips. Your hands trail up the hem of her muscle shirt and down to rest at her breasts. You palm her right breast and find the fabric thin. Must be old, you think. You pull the fabric between your fingers during your ministrations and can’t help but smile from a newfound idea.

“You don’t need this anymore, do you?” Before she can object, you push your fingers through the fabric and tear it down the middle in one motion.

“What are you doing?” A serious tone taking over her voice but your adrenaline pushes you to continue. You lower your body back down onto her to mate your lips with hers; simultaneously pulling her knife from under her pillow. A smirk pulls at your lips as you return to your straddling stance. You snap it open and graze the blade over her taut stomach to the bottom stitching of the shirt where it’s still holding the fabric together.

“I think you’ve forgotten something really important, Sameen.” You can feel the flow of your blood like a heart beat, like your whole body is thrumming with anticipation. You pull the blade out and cut through the fabric. You can feel her holding her breath as she watches the blade meanders its way back up to her neck.

“Not to trust you with knives?” She guesses sarcastically and you smile in response. You grab the hem and cut through that too then remove the shirt from her. You’re going to need two pieces you remind yourself. You tear it in two and cut off the ends before folding the knife in and resting it on her stomach. You take her hands from your hips and pin them to the corners of the cot and tie them there with one of the pieces of fabric. Shaw stays attentive to your movements and you can see the slow build up in her.

“Nope.” You hold the other piece of fabric in your hands where she can see it and slowly start grinding into her. You’re already soaking from just thinking about fucking her through the bed and with Shaw’s inability to be patient, you’re sure she is too. 

“You’ve been daring lately. And although it wasn’t bad, you made the terrible mistake of thinking you were going to remain in charge.” You chuckle.”And we both know that isn’t how this is going to continue.” She nods her head feverishly while keeping time with your thrusts.

“Say it.” You demand, stopping your motions.

“You’re in charge. You are in control.” You feel her body relax and her legs spread in submission. It only builds your adrenaline and the need to be inside of her. To hear her moans. To feel her riding up against your every thrust. To watch her spiral into ruin. You smirk.

“Now that that is settled, a punishment is far overdue. Of course you knew you weren’t going to get away with it that easily. You lay the last piece of cloth against her side and swing your leg over, get up, and walk over to your commune. 

“Root!” You can feel her voice is stern and it makes your core ache. Thank God you were blessed without the imposition of impatience. Sameen, on the other hand, could use some lessons. Once in the room grab a box hidden behind the books in your bookcase and open it to reveal a harness with its essential apparatus. You remove your clothes slip on the harness and pick out a black lace bra. You can feel your heart in your stomach and feel overcome with prospect. You know this is one of Shaw’s practices because she’s the one who asked you if you would strap up but it still makes you a little nervous in the beginning. Damned if you ever show her that, though. So you take a little extra time to swallow any jittery feelings you may have. Finally, you present yourself, apparatus in hand. You know she can’t see you in detail due to the dim lighting of the subway but you can tell she’s interested. You make your way over to her sultrily and squat down to speak to her at eye level.

“Like what you see?” Shaw’s hands are strained against the confines of her mangled shirt. 

“I’m not opposed.” Shaw says. Such a sly remark. She should know better. 

“Well, good. Because the whole time I’m fucking you, you’re punishment is that you don’t get to touch me once tonight. And,” You brush a lock of hair behind your ear with your free hand then proceed, “you won’t be able to see it either.” Before she can counter, you reach over and grab the piece of her shirt and lay it over her eyes and tie it behind her head. 

“Safeword?” She asks. 

“Red.” You install the dildo to the harness and straddle her. You want to feel how what she is so your hand reaches down and strokes her up and down. She’s so wet.

“Mmmm.” You can’t help but to hum out. You grab the dildo by the shaft and rub the head against her opening and clit. Before going ahead you soak the dildo in her juices. You can’t wait to be inside her but you remember the wait she made you go through. You rub the head up and down her stomach and around her nipples. She’s bucking against you already but steady her hips with yours. You spread her legs and position yourself to where the dildo is sliding against her core. You bring your elbows to either side of her head and trace her bottom lip with your tongue. Her teeth catch the tip of your tongue and bring you in the explore her mouth. You keep your hips at a steady pace while losing yourself in her yearning kisses and desperate attempts to feel more of you. 

“Fuck.” You exhale shakily. 

“Tell me how bad do you want me to fuck you.” You ask while sinking your head into her neck to leave the most marks you possibly can. 

“Please,” her head turns so she can bite your ear. The sting resonates through your whole body and makes you weak for just a second. You regain yourself and lift your head from her til your bottom lip is met with hers. 

“Tell me.” 

“I want you--” you thrust against her clit a little more forcefully and she moans and her body shudders at the movement. 

“I want to feel you inside of me.” She begs. 

“I want you to ravage me.” You mate your forehead against hers and absorb all the jitteriness from her admission. You guide the dildo with your hand, making sure it's proper wet. You can feel the head against her center and your back arches painfully as you edge your way into her. Shaw’s legs wrap around your waist with her back tense. You let her adjust to the feeling before moving inside of her. Slowly you begin drawing out then going back in and you can feel your eyes rolling to the back of head from the feeling. So slow that you swear you can feel how tight she feels around you. You're hands rest on the middle of her forearms as a form of comfort. After a couple of more thrusts she lets up. You raise up to your knees and grab her hips and thrust hard into her. Her mouth opens wide to let out a cry and you keep your hard thrust coming. Her knees dig into your sides to ride into your thrusts. 

“I want you to remember this,” you thrust into her as deeply as you can. You almost stumble forward from the heavy feeling that swirls in your stomach down to your own center. It's so much. 

“Whenever you feel bold and disobey, there are repercussions.” You lean down and take her left nipple into your mouth and start driving into her mercilessly. Shaw’s moans raise in decibels. You can feel her center dragging against the dildo, bringing you in. She's almost spent and it's no wonder. You riled her to the brink and almost yourself as well. With every thrust you can feel the end of the dildo brushing against your clit developing the cataclysm that is your own orgasm. The rate of your thrusts stay the same and you move to rub your thumb against her clit while keeping your attention on her nipples. Her legs grasp tighter and tighter against you. 

“Fuck!” she exclaims. You fuck her harder and faster and keep minimum pressure strokes on her clit. 

“I'm gonna fucking come.” Her back arches and you can see her musculature in her biceps and triceps as she wraps around you involuntarily tight. Her moan is the most glorious thing you've ever heard and it takes everything in you not to come at that second. 

Shaw’s hips still and she remains panting in the aftermath. You continue moving very slowly in and out of her but can tell she's had enough. You carefully pull out of her and remove the dildo and harness. You lay a trail of kisses from her neck down to her pussy to taste her. Your own pussy clenches at the taste of her. You're body feels like it's melting. You want to come so bad. You wait patiently for Shaw to calm down and keep kissing up and down her body. 

“You're not done yet.” You raise up on your knees and put them on either side of her head before grabbing her head to push her mouth to your soaking center. She obliges and begins lapping at your labia before circling your center. Your orgasm is already at the brink but you can't stand to come right now. You want to feel her tongue explore inside of you. 

“I want to feel you inside of me. Make me come.” Her tongue delves it's way into your core and your thighs shake from the immediate response. You can feel her tongue brushing against the sides of your walls and you moan unabashedly. 

“Fuck, baby.” You ride Shaw’s face and then her route changes and her tongue begins thrusting against you. Your back arches and you can feel your orgasm almost about to tip over but you hold it back a little longer. The feel of Sameen exploring you always makes you feel so open. So vulnerable. Every touch reminds you that even though you're in charge during sex, she still knows how to break you down. And you love it. The way she obeys orders and comes at command. And how she can build you up and destroy you just as you can with her. Your hand travels down to your clit of its own freewill and draws circles. 

“Sameen--” You stumble and Shaw drills into you deeper. 

“Oh, fuck!” You're orgasm slams into you and you hunch over, your body shaking from the intensity. You ride out the aftershocks then move over to lay on Shaw’s side. Once your breathing is regulated Shaw nudges you with her shoulder. Sleepily you dig your head deeper into her neck.   
“Aye! Hands and eyes?” You giggle and lean up on an elbow to remove her restraints and blindfold. She stretches her arms out and wraps an arm around your back.   
“Shouldn’t we clean up?” She says, nodding over to the dildo and harness. 

“Oh. John and Harry went to follow a lead to New Jersey. Supposed to give us intel about Samaritan.” You murmur into her skin. Sleep is taking over your body.   
“Then why aren't we in your bed?! It's bigger!” Shaw wiggles her body but you cling to it and fall deeper into your slumber. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------- 

When you wake up there’s nothing around you. Your eyes open to the dim light of your desk lamp and find Shaw doing pull ups on a pull up bar in your doorway in a sports bra and boy shorts. She must have moved you. A slow, simmering fire burns its way into your stomach. You watch her muscles in her back and arms as she repeats her reps. You settle on the arch of her back and the muscles protrude around her spine. When she finally drops down and stretches her shoulderblades in, you gracefully wind your arms around her neck into a headlock. Her arm bends in to elbow you when realization hits and she relaxes into your grip. Your lips graze the back of her neck before veering off and biting her earlobe.

“Isn’t it too early for sparring?” She states. Your lips automatically form a smile. You withdraw one arm and shove her chest into the door frame with your hand against the small of her back.

“I suppose it isn’t if there aren’t places we need to be.” Your smirk grows. You release your arm from her neck and spin her around to face you.

“But I don’t suppose you have any dispositions?” You watch her the corner of her lips creep almost into a smile prior to straightening out to her signature tight lipped expression. Your hand rises to engulf her neck in a tight squeeze. Her pulse is rising underneath your fingertips and her hands rise to clasp around yours.

“If you’re going to do it,” She manages through breaths. “Do it like you mean it.” Your laugh reverberates through your throat down your hands around her neck. Your lips mask hers; sucking and pulling her bottom lip in through your teeth.

“I thought you’d never ask.”


End file.
